


The ghost of you.

by duaa



Series: the ocean [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, poor Logan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23054353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duaa/pseuds/duaa
Summary: Logan and Virgil have been best friends since diapers, and know, Virgil’s gone. Logan should have seen it coming. Logan should have known better.But he didn’t.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: the ocean [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1656805
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	1. Don't let me be gone.

Logan was still in shock. Maybe he wasn’t. He knew he wasn’t. He knew better than that. He knew Virgil since middle school. They were now in their late twenties - and Virgil could have changed everything about himself, but no one would know him better than Logan. He knew Virgil and Dorian’s relationship would definitely end, end with Virgil wanting to do more, see more. He had always been like that, never satisfied with just what he had, he got bored too quick. Sure, he in the beginning when they were still young and Virgil’s anxieties constantly took over him he had needed some constants. But now he was better. No longer the same boy frustrated with his inability to accept the change he so desperately desired; he was now frustrated with his inability to change. 

Logan has somehow always been with Virgil, through thick and thin. They went to the same high school, to the same college and lived in the same town. He always thought his bond with Virgil was unbreakable, they had done everything together. Prom, getting a boyfriend, raising a pet, making up their secret code, vandalism (more up Virgil’s alley, Logan just appreciated art), dyeing their hair, _everything_. 

And now Virgil was gone and Logan was here, with his raging ~~hot~~ boyfriend who was shouting into his phone. 

“... you absolute fucker! I could never...”

He understood. Somehow, he knew what happened. Virgil got sick of this life and left. Honestly, Logan was surprised it didn’t come earlier. But what really threw him off was the lack of information. He always held onto the promise that if Virgil ever ran away he would come get Logan. Leave a note. He would never disappear like this. 

Virgil promised decades ago and now he broke that promise. Logan had wreaked havoc in Virgil’s house after Dorian moved to Remus’ house - searching for his note, a piece of paper written in purple pen in a language only they knew. He left no stone unturned, a flurry of papers and polaroid pictures. All he got was a box from Dorian full of Virgil’s belongings. Given to the designated best friend, the best bet on whom Virgil may contact. Dorian had been so shocked, denying it for days; leaving Logan confused. Anyone who had known Virgil would have seen this coming. He switched majors thrice. He never ate the same thing at the same restaurant. He despised movies nights and the comforting routine they bought. He skipped school with no rhyme or reason, a fresh new excuse everyday. And then every now and then he would crumble apart under the weight of his own worries and made up distortions - which is where Logan helped. Virgil acted on impulse his whole life - only to regret it soon. But he never went back, never tried to fix it. 

Logan knew all of this. He just didn’t know when the metaphorical distance between them turned into physical. He desperately wished it hadn’t come to this. So here he was: sending text after text, voicemail after voicemail. He sorted comments from newest first under some of Virgil’s favourite youtubers, just a comment would be enough to show Logan his friend was alive and well. He installed tumblr, opened their shared gmail twice a day. 

Nothing. 

He tried to find out where Virgil could have gone, everyone else said he went back home. Logan had no idea that none of his friends knew Virgil at all. Why on earth would he go home? Why would someone who ran away from routine end up in another one? Out of the frying pan and into the wok was absolute nonsense. Virgil would have gone somewhere new, somewhere special, somewhere no one expected him to go. 

Somewhere Logan should expect him to go.


	2. Close to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, indefinite amount of time passes between these voicemails, but Logan leaves one each week.

“Uh, salutations, Virgil. I hope you are well. Where ever you are. Uhm, I know Roman has been yelling at you, uh, I apologise on his behalf. He doesn’t get it, you know, I should have known. Patton came forward with details about your... uh, situation. I’m sorry that it progresses all the way to you running away. Do you remember when your parents used fight, and you wanted to run away? You promised you would get me. Leave a note if you didn’t have time. Purple pen. Our code. I searched all over your house for it. I hope you... I don’t know which I prefer, you forgetting or just not wanting to. 

I wish you had talked to me, instead of Patton. I remember asking you if we could meet up sometime. I looked at my text again. I wrote it wrong. Asked if we could meet you. I didn’t mean Roman and I. I know you don’t like that, uh, double dates or third wheeling. I remember. Of course I do. I wished we had clarified then. I... I, uh, have your things. Your old jacket. I hope you’re making a new one, you know, this is another phase in your life, so a design change is granted. I hope it’s still purple. That part is etched in my brain, you know. I saw a purple bag and immediately thought of you, uh, it was a five year old girl. Hah, I know you would be offended. It’s okay, I think I have the right to do that.”

“Uh, yeah, your things. You can come and get them anytime. I kept it in the garage, key under the pot, if you don’t want to see us. I’d still take my note then, uh, just so you know. Purple pen, okay? Uhm. I hope you listen to this. I shall update you every week. Bye Virgil.”

***

“Hello. Dorian has moved in with Remus. I think he’ll do fine. He was mostly in denial. I can’t believe how shocked everyone is. I really can’t. It makes no sense, you have always been like this. Also, I think it might interest you to know that someone colored your graffiti on the 7th block. It’s beautiful. I really think you would approve. It’s very bright, neon. No purple. It’s ironic how this happened after you left. No, it’s almost sad. Patton says you have been keeping in touch with him. I call bullshit. Keeping contact means looking back. You don’t do that. Well, maybe in a year or so. I, uh, I think Roman and I might move.

When he first suggested that, I cried. This would be the first time we aren’t something together. You leaving has really impacted me. I... miss you. I missed you for a long time, before this, I just didn’t know. But I know I’ll see you again. One day. I just wish you left a note. You always did. When you skipped class, you would leave a note. Where is it now? Was it also part of the old now? Dorian keeps asking me where you are. It’s annoying. I keep telling him I don’t know, he doesn’t believe me. He says even if I knew, I wouldn’t tell him. He’s right. I have decided to try and deduce where you might have gone. I think I’ll get it. I hope I will. I don’t know what I would do, with your address. Other interesting things: I have now dyed my hair purple. Like in highschool.”

“I hope you don’t go batshit crazy, and I hope you have someone with you. I hope you listen to these. It’s not too late to mail me my note without a return address. Bye, Virgil.”

***

“Hi. It’s fixed, we’re leaving. Soon. We haven’t told anyone yet, except Remus, and you. I also saw your typing bubble pop up last week. You’re alive. I’m glad. Also, I figured out who our mystery colorer was. He goes by the street name XM. Weird, I know. His real name is Marcus. I actually caught him putting up some finishing touches. Who does that weeks later? He asked about who drew the original piece. I made up so much bullshit, you would have been so proud. I told him to meet me later. You are now an urban myth who has also made crop circles in his day. I’m keeping the rest of your legend a secret from him, I told him he wasn’t ready. He believed me. Now there’s a rumour about a cryptid who vandalises buildings. Your legacy has been left, you don’t need to worry about that anymore.

“It’s Missy’s anniversary next week. I know you won’t come. But if you want to honour our dead cat, you can come anytime except our usual time. I shall be there then. I’m keeping that time frame, sorry. I shall bring your usual as well. Roman, like I told you, does not approve of this. He says I’ll go crazy. He’s not stopping me, though. Also, I went to your river. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before, but you went to the ocean. Always the ocean with you, but yeah. I can see it. You must be so happy. Don’t wear it out, though. I remember your poetry about your ocean. Roman and I are going to be close to the ocean. Not as close as you, though. I shall message you our address. You can come over anytime. Like the old times. Remember you once scared Roman? That was hilarious.”

“Anyways. I’ll have you know I’m still waiting on my letter. Bye, V.”

***

“Hey V. I saw you started doing commissions on tumblr again. I need a painting for my house, something to commemorate this bare bones home. A new beginning. New pace fo change. I thought of commissioning you anonymously, but I don’t want any other painting - I want you to know it’s for me. Is ten months enough time? According to the rules of Virgil, I don't think so. Well, I doubt your new life is completely set with no hitches, so I'm not expecting to hear from you soon. So I’ll tell you what I want. A purple boy standing in water. That’s it. Like how you used to stand in the swimming pool in elementary grade. The swampy pond in middle school. The lake in high school. The river here. The ocean there. Why did you always just stand? I asked you a million times and you never answered me - except for the first time I asked. That’s what I want. Remember how we didn't tell anyone we were moving until the last possible second? That, holy fuck, went like a dumpster fire. Everyone reacted horribly, I wish we just left without telling them ever.

“I don’t even want to think of it anymore. I know you would not have done that. It’s so peaceful here. I got my dream job, so did Roman. House is perfect. I have your copy of a key, too. You always had a key to mine. I’d mail it to you, but ‘the ocean’ isn’t good enough. You know, I completely forgot you weren’t here one day. I ordered two drinks, one for me and one for you. When I got back to the table, I remembered. I liked the drink. You would have hated it.”

“So, when you send me my painting, I’ll take my note. Bye, V.”

***

“Hi. I know where you live. You live with Remy. He sent me your address. I’m not coming over, don’t worry. You know, we live in the same state. Different sides, but still. I haven’t told anyone. He told me you told him to let me know. Virgil. Need I fucking remind you I still need my painting and my note? It isn’t like you to slack so much. I sent over your copy of the key. I don’t slack. Why don’t you learn something from me you little shit? So anyways. I hope the ocean is treating you well. Roman wanted to go to the ocean, but I managed to convince him we don’t need to do that. I don’t know what he would do if he just saw you standing there. I know I would whack you across the head. Where’s my note?"

"I hope you're happy. Where ever you are. I hope that one day, we will meet again. I hope that one day, you could forgive me for not being there when you needed me, for not being a good friend - one that you deserve. I hope someone is there, to help you quell your worries and keep moving forward. Maybe, someday our paths will cross again. So, this one is short. I don’t have much to say, this week. I know, shocking, hah. Bye, Virgil.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you like it! lmk if you see a typo

**Author's Note:**

> hope you like it! lmk if you see a typo


End file.
